Thursday, April 2, 2009

Avoiding the Unavoidable

They say two things in life are certain: Death, and taxes. 

Too bad for me that they're unavoidable, seeing as I find them both terribly inconvinient.

Death is obviously bothersome because it get's in the way of life. How rude!

Taxes don't really bother me because they exist... they bother me because I have to DO them! I'm a patriot. I support my country, I want to pay for the road I drive on and the National Parks and for the salary of our heros! But if the IRS wants my money, why don't THEY fill out my "W"-Whatever form? I don't know how to do this!

Of course, I waited until 12 days before the deadline to think about my 2008 taxes. I emailed my parents' tax guy and said that this year I wanted him to do them again and that I was going to be a big girl and pay for it myself instead of asking my parents to pay for it as they generously have in the past. I'm almost 24 years old, it's time I do this myself, right?

You know what he told me? "Hi Carlyn, It will will $225 if that's ok."

Excuse me while I laugh hysterically. $225? I'm pretty sure that's the money I'd be getting back anyways! Is this for real? I have to shell out hundreds of dollars? In this economy? To figure out how much money I owe or give back for being victimized by the government and banks and mortgage brokers? Isn't that, like, double jepordy?

So now I have to do my taxes myself and it's a huge drama because very little is more daunting to me than the idea of sitting down with numbers and my visions of becoming like Wesley Snipes and being made an example of by the IRS for being bad with taxes. I think Ed MacMahon is in that category as well. I hope this blog doesn't make me famous. PLEASE don't make me famous. I won't be able to stand the embarassment when the IRS comes knocking on my door to tell me I'm bad at filling out thier "easy" E-Zs. 

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